Maybe it’s my inadequacy, maybe I am overjealous or maybe I am insecure. To be a passive someone that didn’t reach her hand far enough.
I am not good with people back then, things then got better but then time and space intervenes. I wasn’t really lucky back then. It feels like all the connection I once had start to get loose again.
Ftiendship isn’t a competition, I get it, but something is wrong with me. I couldn’t help but get a bit jealous and threathened when someone is close to my friends. Maybe if they found a new friend they realize how lame I was and I’ll be thrown away. Because I dodnt like myself back then and I didnt like myself now.
It pains me to compare the contents of our talk before time and space separates us. Talks still happens but thats it. Somehow it loses its depth.
I am afraid to lose connection to others but at the same time i dont know why I losing them. Is it natural because of the different in space and time ? Am I not giving them enough care ? How do I reach to them ? ….am i just…inadequate..?