To be precise, the mission, or rather, my missions itself aren’t clear from the very start. Because the kind of missions in life are the ones that we should define ourselves , it appears I am way too lax about it. I rarely takes anything seriously from the beginning, I falter at crossroads, everyone, especially from high school seems so much better.
My sister, my college friends, people I envy and people I adore seemed to be on a whole different level, and I end up making up tales with me as a protagonist, where the alternate universe completely fascinating, with the flow of fate and time are all under my imagination. Those things were on my mind so often I allow it to preoccupy me when I am on my own.
In the alternate universe, where often wilder than the reality, I have good grasp of myself. My dream looks, was a projection of my ideal view of beauty. Naturally attractive without being overboard. My talents, my strength and weaknesses was a reflection of everything I lack, and my reputation in the alternate universe is (I guess) the way I wanted to be viewed by others.
The sound of splashing water and the smell of chlorine. I associated it with my ideal condition of day dreaming. My body keep moving to match the action-packed situation I create in my mind, the gears in my brain keep moving to keep the story running. Sometimes the plot goes back and pick up any loopholes, sometimes it progressed leap and bounds. Sometimes, the plot reveals itself and move forward. Times like that make my alternate universe a little bit closer to reality. But those moments rarely comes, because, well, the best stories are the ones well thought.
Me swimming by myself. Nice. Me swimming by myself in an empty pool, when there wasn’t too much chlorine, and when the sun isn’t too hot. Perfect. That’s why I want to go swim alone, just the water, the sound of my hand slashing the water, and the smell of chlorine on the water. It’s great because in swimming, it is understandable to completely silent and not making facial expression all the time, and the advantage of blurry sight of other people is relaxing too.