BEWARE, karma is accumulative.

I admit, I mock people, either openly, or discreetly. I slightly mock those who failed a year of class in schooldays. I silently sneer at someone who gets low grades and ones who failed a lecture. Turns out it’s now my turn. If I stay in this major, It is definite that I will be late for half a year. I failed a class. If I chose to switch major, It is sure that I will be late a year. I once read a quote said

“Do not mock the pain you haven’t experienced”

-i think its confucius’ or sun tzu’s

Jeez, no wonder they were called wisemen, it was true.


This Love Came Back to Me

What I predict happen. That possibility that when you dive in to your old routine, you might wanted to dive deeper.

This feelings of wanting to try again float again. Some times I feel like I could do better, but other times I feel pessimistic.

I used to say that I’d get an A in every subject, then fled this major, but then, A is not easy to get. And then, doing so hard to get an A will make you love the subject. Which means, I have dreamed something nearly impossible. Not impossible, but very little chance that it might work.

What should I do to make decisions?

What are the options to consider?

Another Homework for me.




I asked wheter I should switch to Business.

Temperance – Your answer is YES
Temperance indicates breaking the bonds of bad habits, practicing regularity and self-discipline. You are on the verge of a breakthrough, because you have learned to master yourself. Your mind has stopped wandering from one thing to the next, and you pursue your dreams without interruption. Success is not far away, as a natural outcome of your past and present good actions.
I asked a “YES” for moving now, and a “NO” for moving later.
Temperance – Your answer is NO
The Temperance card in its negative state here suggests that you have a mistaken belief that things will naturally work out for the best. You have failed to take daily, disciplined action to fulfill your goals. For this reason, you may experience a steady stream of setbacks. You must learn to align your beliefs and actions with your highest aspirations. Only then will your progress be easier.
I asked whether to dig deeper
The Wheel of Fortune – Your answer is YES
The Wheel of Fortune indicates success and prosperity, the outcome of hard work. You have struggled to improve your career, finances, and relationships, and now you begin to see the fruits of your actions. Take heart in this joyful time, and remember to celebrate your good luck with your friends. It is rare in this world that one receives unconditional good.


Yin Card: Your current situation has become a little unhealthy for you if you’ve drawn the Devil card in this position. You’re worrying a lot, and may be having troubled thoughts. Even your sleep may be disturbed until you can get a hold on this. The main issue is obsession-based, and holding on too much. Unfortunately, you can’t totally control how things will turn out in this situation. Opening your heart and trusting what comes will make it more peaceful. Meditation can help you learn to ride the wave.
Yang Card: If you find that you’re around toxic people now, the Judgement card placed in this position shows that it may be time to establish healthier boundaries. The situation you’re asking about has become a little too angry, misunderstood, or blame-filled. But healing is always possible! Rather than judging others, let go of any frustration with calming yoga stretches. Legs Up the Wall Pose is one simple way to release anything that’s not working for you, and then reclaim your power in this situation.
Can’t understand why those cards keep understanding me.

Useful Sites

10 Questions to Find Your Passion


Only 1 in 3 Americans are happy, according to this article. If you’re in the minority, and you’re feeling happy and fulfilled in your life, that’s great! If you’re not, here are some questions to help you find your passion. Figuring out what lights you up and makes you feel completely alive can help you kickstart the new year and make it the best year ever.

To get the most out of these questions, turn of all distractions and let your imagination run wild. Give yourself the permission to dream big. If you’ve been stuck in the daily grind for years, you may find your fears kick in as soon as you start dreaming big. You’ll instantly start thinking of all the reasons your dreams are irrational or impossible. Ignore those thoughts and focus on the questions.

When you discover your passion, and you combine it with your strengths, you come alive and shine. Finding your passion can take time and effort, but the investment is worth it.

Here are 10 questions to help you find your passion.

1. How do you want to be remembered?

What do you hope people say about you at your funeral?

2. If you had the time and finances, what would you do with your life?

Picture your life with unlimited resources. How would you spend your days?

3. If you were guaranteed not to fail, what would you do?

Then think about being wildly successful at your dream and how it would change your life and the lives of the people around you.

4. What mark do you want to make on the world?

We all have the ability to make a dent on the world. What dent do you want to make?

5. If you could snap your fingers and instantly be famous for something, what would you choose?

Or, what would you love to be an expert at?

6. What makes you feel totally alive?

If you can think of several things, think about the common theme among them. Is there a theme of freedom? Traveling? A certain subject?

7. What do you love doing so much that you lose track of time when you do it?

Is there something you do that you get completely absorbed in?

8. What are you completely amazing at?

Sometimes it’s hard for us to see our strengths. Do you get complimented frequently on being really great at something? Think about what comes easily for you that others struggle with.

9. Who inspires you?

Consider not only who they are but why they inspire you.

10. What would you do if you could conquer your fears?

If you haven’t found your passion yet, keep searching. This free workbook has more questions to help you find your passion. Self-discovery is important, so keep learning about yourself and what you love. When you choose to put in the time and effort to discover your passion, and then you make room in your life to regularly spend time doing what you love, your life greatly improves.

Also, surround yourself with people who inspire you. As Jim Rohn said, “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” If you want to improve your life, hang out with people who are positive and encouraging, and who are doing amazing things. Connect with people who are already doing what you hope to do. If it doesn’t work out to connect in person, connect online. In today’s world, we can connect easily with people across the globe instantaneously. The people you choose to spend time with can greatly influence your ability to find and do what you love.

I’m convinced that the world would be a better place if we come alive and spend our time doing what truly matters to us. When we find our passion and focus our lives on what we love, our lives become more fulfilling and we can give the best of ourselves to the world.

10 Words People Who Are Not Confident Always Use




A famous comedian relates this anecdote about his start in show business. He had a minor role in a biblical stage play with a short speaking part to be delivered as he assisted a high-ranking Roman soldier.

The dialogue was pretty straightforward. The Roman soldier was to ask him, “Is my sword ready?” and he was to answer, “It is.” He rehearsed his two-worded line endlessly. The theater was full on opening night, which made him quite nervous.

Finally, his one shining moment came.

Roman soldier: “Is my sword ready?”

His loud, excited reply: “Is it?”

And that was the end of his stage career.

Words, even when monosyllabic, carry meaning, and the subtlest of adjustments can totally flip the table (or the script). More importantly, words have manifesting power. If you find yourself short on confidence, check to see if these words form part of your regular dialogue.

1. Might

“I might take the college entrance test.”
“I might fail.”
“I might just forget about college.”

Might is an ambivalent word that shows a lack of intention and direction. Using might on your weekly planning, daily to-do lists, or in response to others’ requests could result in tasks left undone. That’s precisely because in your thoughts and speech, you don’t appear to care either way. Eliminate this word from your vocabulary. Go for a YES or NO. If you are not sure about whether or not to do a task, think “maybe” but give it a deadline and convert soon to a YES or NO. It’s not about saying yes all the time; it’s about making a decision either way. You move from not confident to decisive.

2. Won’t

“It won’t work.”

“I won’t be able to do that.”

Won’t is a defeatist word that assumes failure in a race even before the first step is taken. People who think and say this word often base their negative thinking on a couple of past experiences. When you conclude in your mind that a process, a project, or you will fail, that is exactly what will happen. Open your belief to the real probability of success with, “That could work” or, “Yes, I think I can do that.” As you become more optimistic, good results will start happening to move you from not confident to positive thinker.

3. Usually

“This is usually the way we do it.”

“I usually work better solo.”

Usually is a status quo-type of word that accepts things as they are. Things are just that way, end of story. It’s a word that closes the door to finding newer, better ways of doing things. It’s sometimes used to justify laziness. Instead, think of alternatives, options, and new things. Be willing to think and say “We can try another way” or “I will take a chance working with this team,” and get ready to be surprised by your adaptability and other new discoveries. As new things become usual to you, your experience and expertise grows. And so does your confidence.

4. Suspect

“I suspect there will be a company takeover.”

“I suspect there is a catch to their proposal offer.”

Unlike the previous words, which mostly affects the speaker, suspect brings a shadow of suspicion on another person’s motive and sows intrigue and fear in others. Verbalizing your negative thinking contaminates those around you. It causes low morale and an air of distrust that affects relationships and productivity. Drop suspect altogether from your thoughts and speech. Stop judging, accept news and gestures at face value, and improve your interpersonal skills.

5. Impossible

“That’s impossible; it has never been done.”

“It’s impossible for me to work with [fill in person, task, or department].”

Impossible combines the defeatism of won’t and the status quo of usually to firmly lock the door to new successes. The danger of impossible is in the passion you use when you say the word, often with a raised voice and a strong hand gesture. The stronger the feeling that is attached to a word, the surer and sooner it will manifest. As you continue to use impossible in your thoughts and words, you will notice less positive things happening in your life. From not confident, you could drop to outright fearful. Throw outimpossible from your vocabulary. Shift to “not possible” and then to “could be possible” and finally to “Yes, it can be done!”

6. Worried

“I’m worried about my presentation.”

“I’m worried the client will not be satisfied.”

Worried is the reason people are not confident. Being worried comes from imagining a bad or worst case scenario. Its two components are (1) thinking ahead and (2) fearing a negative outcome. When you find yourself thinking ahead to the day of your presentation or project submission, summon a positive image of a supportive audience and an impressed client. Smile, hear the audience applauding, and feel the firm handshake of your happy client. If you are unable to imagine a positive image, then focus only on the present moment as you complete the project and prepare for the presentation. Pediatricians chat up children to talk about something interesting and then swiftly deliver the shot. They know it’s the fear of the needle—not the actual shot—that makes the process worrisome.

7. Confused

“I’m confused about my team leader’s work expectations.”

“I’m confused if he wants to seriously continue this relationship.”

Sometimes, a confusing situation is to be blamed for the ambivalence ofmight and the defeatist attitude of won’t. If you don’t know what your work objective is, you won’t be able to take steps to get there. If you don’t know how you stand in a relationship, you won’t know how committed you can be. Among the words people who are not confident use, confused is the simplest to get rid of. Get yourself out of the confusion to a place of clear understanding by speaking to your team leader or your significant other. Ask clear, direct questions. Explain you want to understand their expectations so you can act accordingly, from not confident to sure of yourself.

8. Need

“I need to buy expensive suits before I go to any job interview.”

“I need to be sure there is no risk of getting turned down before I ask her out.”

Need acts like a stalling tactic and a justification for failing. It’s also a dream stopper. It’s you setting up conditions—which are often unnecessary—for you to succeed. Many people say this common dialogue that applies to any dream.

“I want to write a book but …”

“I need to finish sending all my children to college first.”

“I need to keep working to save up.”

“I need to find time to focus.”

“I need to take some writing courses.”

“I need to gather more writing experience.”

If they end up not living the dream, they give the above reasons for their so-called failure, which is actually a non-start. It’s better to try and fail, than to fail to try. The experience of engaging in an action or a relationship is far more important than the result. When you are not too attached to the results, you actually don’t need much to start.

9. Quandary

“I’m in quandary about staying with the company or going freelance.”

“It’s a big quandary for me—take the overseas job offer or stay and nurture this promising relationship.”

Being in a quandary, unlike being confused, means you know the consequences of each choice, but you are uncertain of how much impact it will have down the road. You’re unsure if you’re ready to give up one thing for something else. It takes time, research, and lots of contemplation to get out of a quandary. Give yourself time to weigh things, but do not stay in quandary for longer than necessary, so you don’t get stuck. Don’t rush your decision either. When you do arrive at a decision, move forward and don’t look back.

10. Likely

“I will likely meet the deadline.”

“The client will likely disagree with our proposal.”

Likely is very similar to the ambivalent might but has a higher probability of happening, positively or negatively. It still is not certain. Likely comes across as uncommitted and shows a lack of effort or motivation to make it a sure thing. To change likely to a definite YES, find out what it is about the project or the proposal that is giving you doubts and address them one by one. Like might, this is about removing those doubts and making a definite decision, either way. Go from almost confident to assuredly so.

All these words have an air of uncertainty and negativity that feeds on such feelings and creates a cycle of negative beliefs and negative outcomes. End the cycle with naturally gained self confidence. Be clear about what YOU want. You don’t want anything bad happening, so that’s where you start. Visualize a positive experience and outcome and then take steps to produce that. In such a scenario, not-confident will have absolutely NO part.

7 Reasons Why You [I] Fail All the Time

This is a response and evaluation on myself based on the article taken from here–, written by 
The bold words are my response, and the standard type were the original article. The quoted part is section I think is important or touching, or advice I find useful.

Frustrated with failure? Ever feel like you fail all the time? Here are 7 reasons why you fail all the time. Learn to recognize them so you can avoid them in the future.

OH,YES, I think I haven’t reach the FRUSTRATED part, but  I’m pretty confused it nears FRUSTRATED

1. You’re Lazy

Honestly, you’re not trying.

You like the idea of success, but you’re lacking effort.

You like to act like you’re trying, but you’re really spending more time thinking about how you’re going to explain your work to other people than actually doing any work.

Stop being lazy.

How to fix this: stop being lazy and start developing a work ethic. Do something — anything.

Honestly, you’re right, it has been my habit. My friend practice sketching although they have been quite good about it, while me, just doing the task, with no extra effort.
I’ll keep that in mind, do something-anything.Except watch TV and play games. I’m serious. I’ll try to fill the next days thinking and pondering and doing something about my future. On a scale of 1 to 10, my effort is 4 or 5

2. You Make Too Many Excuses

See the above excuse. In addition to being lazy, you probably make excuses all the time about how something wasn’t your fault and why you’re not actually lazy, but it’s really because the stars didn’t align and someone else was somehow responsible.


Stop being lazy. Stop making excuses. Get to work.

How to fix this: take responsibility for everything — including stuff that isn’t your fault.


3. You Dream Too Much

Dreaming is great — nothing has ever happened without someone first imagining that it could exist.

That said, there’s a point where dreaming is overdone. Sometimes you just need to get down and take some action. Get out of your head and start piecing together the puzzle. Stop overanalyzing everything and dreaming about what could be and get started on actually bringing it into existence.

How to fix this: Find one actionable way to bring your dream one step closer to reality.

The problem is, I dream about different things and different success at lots of fields I think greed has seeped into my mind. And I also dream of fictional characters. The worst  case was I dreamed about them at study time. Now It has been down to before sleeping, as a way to keep my mind busy while waiting to fall asleep.

Actionable way ? work very hard in study, sport, beauty, art, making friends, music,and do ninja training?On a scale of 1 to 10, my daydreaming  level is 7 or 8. Quite dangerous.

4. You’re Scared of Failure

This is actually a hilarious sort of reason in an ironic sense. You fail because you’re so scared of failure that you either

  1. Never start, or
  2. Are so scared of failing that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Failure isn’t a bad thing — in fact, it can be one of your greatest teachers. But you’ll never find out if you’re too scared to even try. Stop acting out of fear and start taking action.

How to fix this: Find the thing that scares you most — then jump in and do it. 

Never start: trying new things, although my condition now has been a lot better. I used to hesitate ordering different dishes, even at a familiar restaurant. I think through small things, I think the pouting waiter hate me ( although it is more likely that she have had a bad day ). Now I make decision over small things faster. Buy this, throw that out. I choose different menu, I act more bravely. But, there are things I feared too.

Never start. In this case, what? Started tuition? I haven’t have made my decision yet. I afraid if this whole moving to another major failed, I may have no way to go back, trapped between bad grades and jobless, being poor and a burden to my family. Subsconciously, if  I stay, maybe I feared I’m being not god enough, I failed again, or the whole process didn’t worth the result, or, it didn’t take out my full potential. And be a burden to my family.

If I moved to another major, I slightly feared about friends, very very slightly about repuation, and I afraid about failing again in the new major and be a burden to my family.

Conclusion : Biggest fear : Being a no-good, jobless, dimeless, and a burden to my family.
And no, please, I don’t want to jump in there.

5. You’re Unfocused with Your Actions

You’re all over the place.

Sure you can blame this on ADD (see reason #2), but the real reason is that you don’t have a plan of action so you lash out at any shiny object that sounds like it will fix your problem.

But, that’s not going to help.

What will help is a solid plan with intentional action that gets you closer and closer to your goals. Laser-focus your attention on the 20% of things that will get you results.

How to fix this: Create a schedule, a routine and a plan to accomplish your goals — then stick to it.

Oh my god, yes, things i have laid my attention to : Scince books, poetry, novel, writing, cross stitch, craft, knitting, language, music, art. And it all pops at a different time, without warning, and well, gradually ends. Plans often failed. And now I’m confused again. 

6. You Don’t Know How To Quit

The one thing worse than a failed project is trying to convince yourself that there’s still hope.

If the project didn’t achieve its goals, know when to cut bait, learn your lesson and get started on the next one. There’s no need to throw good money after bad on a project that wasn’t worth it in the first place.

How to fix this: Have clear goals with each project and endeavor. Abandon the ones that don’t achieve their stated purpose.

It didn’t achive it goals, but WHEN i have to cut bait, LEARN my lesson and get started? WHAT is the perimeter? Oh dear….

HAVE A CLEAR GOAL : SUCCESS–not clear enough.

7. You Forget The Basics

You get so caught up in the flashy aspects of the dream lifestyle that you forget the basics. You get lazy with fundamentals and spend too much time in lala-land.

Strip away the flash. Stop trying to be so hollywood and go back to the start. Get the basics right.

How to fix this: Take away the flash and get back to the basics. Get those right first.


That article was like the 20 facts of yourself that was quite popular a while ago. It defi nes my failure as if I’m the one writing it. So, this point was basically to make me forget the bling and the money it can offer, right? But if financially success is my goal, what to do? 

14 January 2016

I Don’t Know How These Works

The first is this one. The Heck why this site could get it very related to my life. I once read an article on how to make a horoscope and one of the suggestion was to create an answer that s not the answer at the same time. It has to be suggestive and general, not detailed, so that readers judge and connect the horoscope subsconciously.

In case of these Yin Yang Tarot Reading, well, I could say it was pretty general, people are faced with choices and decision everyday, anyway.

But, Oh well, read first my   tarot reading. ( The pic was my secong reading, the Yin card was the same as the first reading, but the Yang cardd was different from the first, although the meaning is quite the same)


It basically saying that :

There’s a decision to be made, and I’m adviced to not overthink.

And, I should stay positive.

Great, I am actually very confused. I am at Architecture major. I have undergo one semester, and guess what, I failed this one subject, the very heart of this major, Studio. It really drags me down, although I have braced myself and didn’t set my hopes high about this, I still sad. Like you know you are going to fall, but still, it hurts, right? I could say that in the scale of 1 to 10 in hardwork , I’ll sclae myself at 4. All this things happen because I didn’t have a decent basic skill. I could do better if I try harder. I rarely praticed. But, but,but….I don’t know. After I failed this one, it seemed that the prospect of other major is sweeter. After imagining going to Information System, now I am very tempted to go ater Business Major. Gosh, what happen to me? I have so many options at the table.

I couldn’t stop thinking about this and that. I wonder if anybody else have this kind of war raging in their head

About the Yang card. “The question may not have an easy answer “. Well, yeah, the hardest questions I have faced through my life, are the ones concerning intangible things. Harder than Physics, Chemistry, or other subjects’ question. Because, there’s no way to know right or wrong. Can ask somebody on how to solve it, but actually, everybody’s answer is different. That’s it. I once read this quote

Life is the most difficult exam. Many people fail because they try to copy others. Not realizing that everyone has a different question paper.

Okay, so I interpret it like this: No matter in what difficulty you are, stay positive, keep pushing through, and the answer will unfold.

So that’s it, another uncertainty at the end.


By the way, I got my tarot reading from , I don’t know what to say about it being accurate or not, or if you should beleive it, but sometimes it provides useful advice that I often forget, like, Go On, Stay positive, re-evaluate your life, and something like that.

14  January 2016